Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. – Tom Mullen
NOTHING COULD BE MORE DEVASTATING TO A MARRIAGE than infidelity by any of the spouses. Financial problems, career conflicts, disagreements in methods of disciplining the children and many more family issues can contribute to cracks in the relationship but they are not enough reasons to cause the marriage to split up. For all that a marriage is worth, only a third party can completely break a marriage and wreck a home and family that both spouses have painstakingly put together through the years.
And how does infidelity rear its ugly head within the marriage? Why would a spouse violate the sanctity of marriage because of another woman or man? Could it be lust? Could it be a need that the other partner failed to meet? Whatever the reason is – there is no justification for infidelity. Yes, it may be common for an unfaithful husband to point an accusing finger to the wife, and say, “It’s your entire fault. You pushed me to go into a relationship with another woman. You were never sensitive of my needs. You never have time for me. You demand a lot and I can’t afford to give you everything.”
Yet all these are rationalizations that fall short of principles. The erring husband is only trying to justify (rather unsuccessfully) his immoral act by stressing on the mistakes of the wife. But despite all these, the wife must remain steadfast and should bear in mind: Inasmuch as the husband is the one who is at fault, the problem is not with her, but with him. Therefore if there is no other recourse but to separate – the aggrieved wife must stand up, dust herself off – hold her head high and say – “I’m better off without you. Good riddance. I may cry today but tomorrow is another day.”
Words of wisdom from a friend: All of us have our own disappointments in life. One day we just might wake up and start thinking we married the wrong person. We may even fall out of love with our spouses. Then we meet someone who we believe is the answer to the secret longing of our hearts. And we are convinced we are in love – and that we have not felt this kind of love before, even with our spouses. But we look around and find the family we have built together. Must we abandon them in exchange for this selfish feeling?
“There is nothing new in life. All of us have hang-ups, frustrations and longings. But at the end of the day – we just have to do our roles right. What is the use of satisfying our lust and infatuations, if guilt will hound us to our grave?”